Finding My Spirituality Through Femininity
It's February 2020 as I sit here trying to understand how I ended up in a relationship that landed me in turmoil, stress and feeling mentality torture. You may think that you're on the correct spiritual path and finding your way to your divine purpose; when you attract this type of person into your life, one must stop and ask yourself what energy am I putting out to attract a narcissistic person into my life? It's only for one reason for me to grow beyond your past actions, to correct things that I need to let go of because it will no longer serve my growth on my spiritual journey to true femininity.
To get a better understanding, I will need to go back to my marriage of 12 years. I married at the age of 30, and he was 27 years of age. At that time, I felt that I had achieved my goals by having my bachelor's degree, owning my home, and being married. When I look back, I didn't know what marriage or having a fulfilling relationship truly looked like. There weren't many examples around me at that age or during my childhood to show me what a genuine relationship should represent.
Those around me were either settling, divorce, being in a relationship with a married man, or just had given up on having a relationship altogether. I would always hear those famous lines in my early adult life: men are no good, they only want one thing, they all cheat, and the top one, I DON'T NEED A MAN.
I have always lived a BOLD life, and you can say that I'm the black sheep of the family. My ex-husband is from Accra, Ghana, West African, and I was born in Atlanta, Georgia. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me how we met, I would have a nice BIG FAT BANK account. I didn't understand why people would ask me this question. Did I not look like someone who would be married? It wasn't a question that I would ask someone.
Even though I was bold, I still had my insecurities and did not want to be judged, and often time I would lie about how we met. I met my ex-husband over the internet; it wasn't an ordinary way to met someone, let alone marry them; back in 2001, with the internet becoming more interactivity ----Part 1----